Welcoming Denial: Insights from 50 Years of Creative Journey

Facing denial, particularly when it occurs frequently, is anything but enjoyable. Someone is saying no, delivering a firm “No.” Being an author, I am well acquainted with rejection. I began submitting manuscripts 50 years back, right after college graduation. Since then, I have had two novels declined, along with article pitches and countless essays. In the last score of years, specializing in op-eds, the refusals have grown more frequent. On average, I receive a setback frequently—adding up to over 100 times a year. Overall, rejections in my profession run into thousands. By now, I could have a advanced degree in handling no’s.

However, is this a woe-is-me rant? Absolutely not. As, now, at seven decades plus three, I have embraced being turned down.

How Have I Accomplished This?

Some context: Now, almost every person and others has given me a thumbs-down. I haven’t tracked my acceptance statistics—that would be quite demoralizing.

A case in point: not long ago, a publication nixed 20 articles consecutively before approving one. Back in 2016, over 50 editors vetoed my memoir proposal before someone approved it. Later on, 25 literary agents rejected a project. An editor requested that I send potential guest essays less frequently.

The Phases of Rejection

Starting out, each denial stung. I took them personally. It was not just my creation being rejected, but me as a person.

Right after a submission was turned down, I would begin the process of setback:

• First, disbelief. What went wrong? Why would editors be blind to my ability?
• Next, denial. Certainly you’ve rejected the incorrect submission? Perhaps it’s an oversight.
• Third, dismissal. What do they know? Who made you to hand down rulings on my work? It’s nonsense and their outlet stinks. I reject your rejection.
• Fourth, irritation at them, then anger at myself. Why would I subject myself to this? Am I a masochist?
• Fifth, negotiating (often seasoned with false hope). What does it require you to see me as a exceptional creator?
• Then, depression. I’m not talented. Worse, I’ll never be accomplished.

So it went through my 30s, 40s and 50s.

Great Precedents

Certainly, I was in fine company. Accounts of authors whose books was initially rejected are plentiful. Herman Melville’s Moby-Dick. Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. The writer of Dubliners. The novelist of Lolita. The author of Catch-22. Virtually all renowned author was originally turned down. Because they managed to persevere, then maybe I could, too. The sports icon was cut from his high school basketball team. The majority of American leaders over the past six decades had earlier failed in campaigns. The filmmaker says that his movie pitch and attempt to star were declined repeatedly. He said rejection as someone blowing a bugle to motivate me and get going, not backing down,” he has said.

The Final Phase

Then, upon arriving at my later years, I reached the seventh stage of rejection. Peace. Currently, I more clearly see the many reasons why a publisher says no. Firstly, an publisher may have already featured a like work, or be planning one in progress, or simply be considering something along the same lines for another contributor.

Alternatively, less promisingly, my submission is not appealing. Or the reader feels I am not qualified or reputation to be suitable. Or isn’t in the business for the wares I am submitting. Maybe didn’t focus and scanned my piece hastily to see its quality.

Go ahead call it an awakening. Anything can be turned down, and for whatever cause, and there is pretty much not much you can do about it. Certain explanations for denial are permanently out of your hands.

Manageable Factors

Some aspects are under your control. Honestly, my proposals may sometimes be flawed. They may not resonate and resonance, or the idea I am struggling to articulate is insufficiently dramatised. Alternatively I’m being obviously derivative. Or a part about my grammar, notably semicolons, was offensive.

The key is that, regardless of all my decades of effort and rejection, I have managed to get published in many places. I’ve authored multiple works—my first when I was in my fifties, my second, a memoir, at retirement age—and over 1,000 articles. My writings have featured in newspapers large and small, in local, national and global platforms. My first op-ed was published in my twenties—and I have now submitted to various outlets for 50 years.

However, no major hits, no book signings publicly, no features on popular shows, no Ted Talks, no book awards, no Pulitzers, no Nobel Prize, and no national honor. But I can better accept no at this stage, because my, admittedly modest achievements have softened the stings of my frequent denials. I can choose to be philosophical about it all now.

Valuable Rejection

Rejection can be helpful, but when you heed what it’s indicating. If not, you will likely just keep interpreting no’s incorrectly. What insights have I gained?

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